Checking In...

I've been feeling a bit guilty about not writing here too often recently, but to be honest, life is full and staying engaged moment by moment amidst a lot of activity has seemed more in line with my intention to be a more present mama than forcing myself to reflect out of a sense of (imagined) obligation. Our Australian family is visiting for a few weeks and it's made for a full house and a lot of wonderful adventures and excursions- some highlights:

*Glow in Santa Monica: An all-night art installation extravaganza, we made it til about 10pm with Little One and her two year old cousin in tow! All loved riding bikes down the boardwalk, seeing the incredible lights of the pier and beach installations, and being out late with thousands of others. My favorite bit of surrealism was an orchestra of accordionists playing on the carousel:

A swirly dream...

*Abbot Kinney Fest: Our neighborhood has been as busy as us recently! The yearly street fair did not disappoint and provided plenty of great people watching, delicious street food, and giant bounce-houses for the toddler contingent. Little One slept through most of it, even my favorite part, watching the sisters (one is 14!) of Puro Instinct rock out on the DubLab stage.

Coffee break from the AKFest crowds- Little One is really into trying to drink from a cup!

*El Matador: My favorite beach in the area, tucked into the cliffs and rarely crowded. We had a beautiful day and Little One loved sitting in the sand and dipping her toes in the ocean for the first time! Of course, this is LA, so the Australian faction got a kick out of the fact that there were two separate fashion photo shoots happening while we played in the sand (one for kids' clothing and one for thong bikinis apparently).

*Disneyland: Had to take our Aussie family to the Happiest Place on Earth of course! It's funny that even my anti-corporate, hippie feminist streak is subdued by the sight of children experiencing the unabashed ecstasy of the Mouse. Even Little One was enthralled by the lights and sights (when she wasn't sound asleep on my chest in the Ergo) and we all slept quite deeply after a long day.

Sword in one hand + Buzz Lightyear in the other= one happy boy!

Of course there have been the more mundane pleasures of time with family-- meals together, walks on the beach, the two young cousins getting to know each other-- and there's yet more fun to come. I'll be back here with more regular posts (maybe) when the time suits and the inspiration strikes! Until then, don't forget to make your monthly wish tomorrow morning before you get out of bed!

Cozy Corner

When I was a little girl, like most children I suppose, I loved building forts and creating secret spaces for play and hiding. They never required much room, in fact smaller was better, more suited to my scale. Whether it was a tent made from a table and tablecloth, or a sheet strung over a clothesline between a few trees, these spaces made every activity seem more exciting, magical somehow. My Little One may be a few years off from such adventures, but I was inspired by a friend who created an adorable little nook for her daughter for reading stories, cuddling, and playing, and decided to get a head start.

 I started with a small alcove-like space beside our fireplace. I had a few large pillows on hand and a ridiculous amount of gold silk fabric that I'd been given by a fashion designer friend. A bit of simple sewing and the pillows looked quite regal. Some old curtains were strung on a bit of twine for the "walls," a couple soft sheepskins spread on the floor, and of course, favorite toys tucked in.

For finishing touches I made a small mobile by stringing some origami cranes (which I'd always wanted to learn how to make and finally did thanks to these excellent instructions) on thread and a garland out of stars I cut from some pretty paper I had in my collage bin.

It's a work in progress-- I'd love to add some kid-level bookshelves to display favorite books and perhaps change the decorations to complement the season (the garland was fun to make and I have a bunch of ideas for others)-- but I think Little One is pretty content with her cozy corner for the moment.

Ojai, How Are You?

Yes, that's my joke. This weekend was the women's meditation retreat I've been planning for the last few months. It went splendidly- the food was delicious, the discussions interesting and inspiring, the location beautiful- but I'm feeling, at the moment, a bit drained. The feeling is akin to the days when I did a lot of theatre-- months of preparation and rehearsal, intense bonding with a small group of people with an immense challenge to tackle together, and then the few fleeting moments where it all comes together, the play itself. That final curtain call of every show always left me with a somewhat hollow feeling, the days immediately after seemed empty and a bit flat. There was always a limbo before the inevitable rush of now what?

That's where I'm at now, so you'll forgive me if it takes a few days before I'm back into the swing of writing again. This deflation is good I think after the steady build toward the weekend's events. I am satisfied with the results of my efforts and enjoying this little lull. Sewing and a bit of creating around the house have occupied the last two days so soon I should have some interesting things to share. Oh, and Little One rolled over for the first time yesterday and today has discovered that she can sit up on her own- big changes every day!

Healthy-ish Almond Butter Cookies

I did some baking experimentation to create a snack for our group meditation this weekend- started with a basic peanut butter cookie recipe then played around to create a healthier, almond butter version. The result was soft, cake-like cookies that everyone enjoyed. My only change for next time would be to substitute almond extract for the vanilla to impart a stronger almond flavor. Happy baking!

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter- softened but still cool
6 tbsp unsweetened apple sauce
1 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup maple syrup (grade B is best but A will work as well)
1 cup almond butter
2 large eggs
2 1/2 tsp vanilla or almond extract
1 cup dried cranberries (optional, but I liked the texture and flavor these added)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees and grease cookie sheets.
Sift together flours, baking soda, baking powder, and salt and set aside.
Cream butter and apple sauce until well combined. Add sugar and maple syrup to butter/apple sauce. Beat in almond butter then add eggs, one at a time, and vanilla or almond extract. Stir in flour mixture then dried cranberries. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto prepared cookie sheets and bake for 10-12 minute or until edges are lightly browned and cookies are fluffy. Enjoy! (Makes approx. 3 dozen)

Rhythm and Ritual

I live now in the land of one season (sort of- there is a subtle shift here from season to season, a change in the quality of the light, that I have come to appreciate). I am far away from the dramatic unfolding of each year's annular change from the bleak of winter to the birth of spring, from the heat of summer to the autumn's harvest. That rhythm mirrored the pattern of a year of childhood- back to school, a time of industry and activity, matched the busy-ness and preparation of the fall; the winter, cold and monotonous, was conducive to the rote and predictable day to day; spring revealed a feeling of newness, of having transformed, a new self ready for the freedom of the summer, the browning of the sun and then that sense of urgency once again come fall.

The urgent feeling of possibility and a fresh start is never stronger with me than at back-to-school time. January first has nothing on September even now, years  later and thousands of miles away. So I'm reminded today of a favorite art teacher, an amazing woman really, who treated jaded and vulnerable teenage students of art as true artists, shared the limitless realm of creativity within the confines of a windowless public school classroom. She gave her students respect and compassion, created rituals of art-making and enforced the importance of daily practice. Most importantly, she melded a passionate seriousness with a sense of joy and magical possibility. At the end of each month she made sure to remind us, angst-y teenagers all, not to forget that on the morning of the first day of the next month we were to each make a wish on waking, before our feet touched the floor. Though I don't hold much stock in wish making these days, this simple ritual has stayed with me throughout the years. Despite myself I think of my teacher, the morning and then the month ahead, and half-ruefully, I wish... Perhaps in the morning you will too?

Manic Monday

The last few days have a been a bit of a jumble. Little One is (I think) starting to teethe, or at least going through an especially tumultuous growth spurt. She continues to be a delight during the day (albeit a very drool-y, finger-gnawing one!) but during the night she thrashes around, escapes her swaddling (or baby straight-jacket as we've taken to calling it) and cries or whimpers at least every hour. For the most part she sleeps right through all of this activity, but I, unfortunately, cannot say the same. All this is to say that my brain is not cooperating with coming up with a cohesive post for this evening, so I thought I'd go with a little list of things I'm thinking about in my sleep-deprived state...

I borrowed this image from the recipe's site- my batch did not last long enough to take a picture

Cupcakes: I made a batch of these coconut heath bar bits of divinity yesterday for our group meditation. They were quite possibly the most delicious things I've ever made (if I do say so myself). I recommend trying them out next time you have a sweet craving (I topped them with this super easy chocolate buttercream just to really go overboard).

I loved Jan Brett's books when I was a child- does that excuse stealing this image?

Town vs. Country: I've been feeling torn recently between the vibrant activity and diverse possibility of city life (where we're at now) and the slowed down pace and connection to the natural world of more rural environs (where I'm from). I'm constantly weighing the benefits and drawbacks of both for our family and what I want Little One to be exposed to. No decisions are being made just yet, but the questions are definitely brewing...

Women in the Veda: This has been a longstanding area of interest for me (really the role of women in all spiritual and religious traditions), but my upcoming retreat has me fully enmeshed in research of this particular vein. My Sourcebook in Indian Philosophy by the brilliant Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan and Charles A. Moore arrived recently and has occupied every spare moment I have to sit down with a book. I'm discovering an interesting mix of (seemingly conflicting at times) ideals and ideologies that have got my mind spinning (though a bit slower than usual!).

Art-making with children: Before dedicating myself to teaching meditation I worked in an arts enrichment program teaching visual art, drama, and yoga to elementary school students. I loved it and look forward to creating art with Little One and her friends as soon as possible. I've been especially inspired since discovering The Artful Parent (I think I've read nearly every post while nursing recently! Such a beautiful process-oriented approach and projects for even the very young have me so excited to introduce Little One to the world of creating that I so love (and starting a toddler art group!).

Of course, for me this also brings up the many (many many many) projects I have begun personally... Rather than feeling frustration or regret though (as has been the norm at times) I'm actually feeling inspiration more than anything. I know I can't take on or finish everything, but that that little spark of creative energy is still there in this somewhat exhausted state is quite reassuring. That spark is what I'll be relying on to get me to the next post here!

Women's Work

This mama can multitask!

I've been immersed, recently, in the planning of a meditation retreat for women that I am running in just a couple weeks. The necessary but not always that much fun logistical planning and organizing has occupied my day time (well, at least Little One's naptimes!), and study and research of material for discussion has kept me up late at night. As I've mentioned before I teach a technique of meditation that is derived from the Veda- texts of wisdom, philosophy, and science from ancient India. As one of only a few western female teachers of this practice, I've long wondered how women have fit into the tradition historically. It is easy to find stories of and works by male sages, but what of their wives, mothers, daughters- women who surely must have had wisdom and knowledge of their own to pass on?

They are there I've found, not always the loudest voices, but strong and smart examples of enlightened women from an ancient civilization- and an inspiring precedent for mindful women of the present. There is Gargi, a philosopher and writer whose fierce intellect and rigorous curiosity confounded one of the most renowned male sages of her era.; Maitreyi,  who renounced material wealth in favor of spiritual enlightenment; and Mandalasa, the queen who sang to her son to teach him the eternal nature of the soul and consciousness. There are many others as well, but perhaps most inspiring to me (and a bit daunting to consider) is this verse from the epic Mahabharata:

The teacher who teaches true knowledge is more important than ten instructors. The father is more important than ten such teachers of true knowledge and the mother is more important than ten such fathers. There is no greater guru than mother. (Mahabharata, Shantiparva, Chapter 30, sloka 9)