Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Ojai, How Are You?

Yes, that's my joke. This weekend was the women's meditation retreat I've been planning for the last few months. It went splendidly- the food was delicious, the discussions interesting and inspiring, the location beautiful- but I'm feeling, at the moment, a bit drained. The feeling is akin to the days when I did a lot of theatre-- months of preparation and rehearsal, intense bonding with a small group of people with an immense challenge to tackle together, and then the few fleeting moments where it all comes together, the play itself. That final curtain call of every show always left me with a somewhat hollow feeling, the days immediately after seemed empty and a bit flat. There was always a limbo before the inevitable rush of now what?

That's where I'm at now, so you'll forgive me if it takes a few days before I'm back into the swing of writing again. This deflation is good I think after the steady build toward the weekend's events. I am satisfied with the results of my efforts and enjoying this little lull. Sewing and a bit of creating around the house have occupied the last two days so soon I should have some interesting things to share. Oh, and Little One rolled over for the first time yesterday and today has discovered that she can sit up on her own- big changes every day!


  1. Wow! Go Sas!!!! Give her a big hug from me! And the sitting up!!?? Wow! I am excited for Ava to sit up on her own :) I bet Saskia feels proud of herself. What a big girl!
    The weekend was fantastic! I feel wonderful. I do miss you guys so much, but it felt great to come back to everyday life in the place I left the retreat in! De-excited, happy, calm, etc. I totally understand how you feel and you described it so well... Your way with words. I am so glad you pit together the retreat!
    I miss you guys lots! And Peter was right, with good friends it feels like no time has past. It really felt like we never left. See you very soon!

  2. I notice you didn't liken that emptiness to 'post-partum depression', which is the term I always hear used after a show closes. I suppose that, after actually having a baby, such comparisons to the everyday world fall flat. Congrats on what sounds like an inspired weekend!

  3. Another beautiful post and a lot more retreats to do.

  4. Ah Maggie, thank you so much for being there this weekend, your presence and support means so much to me. And thank Ava too, I think it was all her rolling around that really got Saskia inspired:)

    Dave, I had forgotten that that term was used (oh mommy brain- i've recently learned that while growing a baby and until 6 months post-partum a woman's brain actually shrinks! make of that what you will...)-- I (thankfully) haven't experienced PPD, so I won't comment on that. However, I can say that this hollowness is not unpleasant- more a stillness, full of promise.

    Peter, thank you for laughing so sincerely at my lame joke.