Confidential to a Mama...

We were speaking recently about keeping a blog- writing to record our experiences as mothers, as women. We spoke about others whose writing we enjoy and, with more than a little self-deprecation we laughed, diminishing our own work and words. Comparisons creeped in, followed shortly by that all-too-familiar voice of doubt. One woman is a brilliant and funny storyteller, another an assured and well-researched source for advice on healthful living and this led somehow to you feeling less than in some way. As though your voice matters less, can not compete perhaps, is not worth sharing.

Your words echoed the ones that sometimes fill my own head. Especially recently, when thinking about returning to this personal project after (more than) a month's absence and facing that surging feeling of what is the point?

I don't really have an answer. But I do hope you keep writing. And I hope to continue as well. Because each time we put our experiences into words- however, awkward, inelegant, or fumbling we may feel them to be--  we create the possibility of connection with one another, with anyone who happens by to read. More importantly, in taking action and writing for ourselves we win a small victory over that inner voice that doubts, that compares, that diminishes. And as women, as mothers,  I think we need as many of those small victories as possible.

The memory of a fragment of a quote came into my head as I started to write this and it took me a minute to recall the source. It turns out it could not possibly have been more relevant:

"So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters; and whether it matters for ages or only for hours, nobody can say. " (Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own)

I think that is a fitting closing for the moment and one I hope you will take to heart (as I will try to also).

Women's Work

This mama can multitask!

I've been immersed, recently, in the planning of a meditation retreat for women that I am running in just a couple weeks. The necessary but not always that much fun logistical planning and organizing has occupied my day time (well, at least Little One's naptimes!), and study and research of material for discussion has kept me up late at night. As I've mentioned before I teach a technique of meditation that is derived from the Veda- texts of wisdom, philosophy, and science from ancient India. As one of only a few western female teachers of this practice, I've long wondered how women have fit into the tradition historically. It is easy to find stories of and works by male sages, but what of their wives, mothers, daughters- women who surely must have had wisdom and knowledge of their own to pass on?

They are there I've found, not always the loudest voices, but strong and smart examples of enlightened women from an ancient civilization- and an inspiring precedent for mindful women of the present. There is Gargi, a philosopher and writer whose fierce intellect and rigorous curiosity confounded one of the most renowned male sages of her era.; Maitreyi,  who renounced material wealth in favor of spiritual enlightenment; and Mandalasa, the queen who sang to her son to teach him the eternal nature of the soul and consciousness. There are many others as well, but perhaps most inspiring to me (and a bit daunting to consider) is this verse from the epic Mahabharata:

The teacher who teaches true knowledge is more important than ten instructors. The father is more important than ten such teachers of true knowledge and the mother is more important than ten such fathers. There is no greater guru than mother. (Mahabharata, Shantiparva, Chapter 30, sloka 9)

"These are times in which a genius would wish to live. It is not in the still calm of life, or the repose of a pacific station, that great characters are formed. " Abigail Adams

I can't let the day go by without noting that on this date 90 years ago the 19th amendment to the constitution- guaranteeing the right of women to vote- was finally passed after decades of struggle by thousands of brave (if you have never heard of Alice Paul, you must click here) and determined women. I'm grateful to be a beneficiary of their work and hope that all women can continue to work together until true equality for all is achieved-- for ourselves and for the world our sons and daughters will inherit.